It’s official

After 3 years of wondering which engineering I might be getting into in NTU, I finally got my answer on 25^th June 2007. I’m glad to announce that it’s my first choice: Mechanical Engineering. The best part is Akbar, Eugene, Junjie, Kenny…and all are going to study the same course too. At least now, I have got Akbar to go to school with everyday. I’m glad.

GST credit has already been deposited into my bank account. That will be an additional $300 to spend before I get my part time job. At the moment, $300 may seems to be quite a big sum of money to me, but still it’s not an excuse not to find a job for the month of July. In Singapore, you will NEED MORE THAN $300 to SURVIVE.

The weather has been really really hot these days. At first, I thought I can cut my hair only before school reopens (to save money), but I changed my mind when I realized I has been bathing at least 2 times everyday. So... here is it... my new haircut.

Before>>>>>>>>>>> After

It's show time...

It’s been over a week since I am done with my psychology paper. “How’s it?” Let’s not go there. Right now, I am almost free while hunting for a temp job before school starts in aug again. I seriously hate how money makes the rich lazy and the poor ones working. It’s not that working is a bad thing but seeing those wealthy ones going overseas for holiday or, at least, enjoying their time at the Great Singapore Sale really makes my eyes sore. DO I HAVE A CHOICE? This is the key issue. No money = No talk + No choice.

Maybe I am pushing myself too hard. I meant what was I thinking when I decided to take a special term one week right after my exam was over, and now, can’t wait to work after my special term is over. Maybe I should just like my hair down a little before they are all gone due to stress and tiredness. At least until I got my temp job.

While waiting for grey’s anatomy to start its 4^th season, I am watching Brothers & Sisters starring the one and only Calista Flockhart. To be honest, She is the reason why I watch the series at first but now, I am hooked to all the characters and relationships of the Walker’s family. Every episode is like a party. I am hoping for the 2^nd season to be aired soon. If not, I will be spending more hours on drama shows rather than lect notes when school reopens.

Speaking of school, I got kicked out of my hall. Haiz... I got all my stuff back at home and after the special term, i must say, I am still not used to the traveling. As a result, all I can do now is to plan my time table really really well in order to save time and travel cost. But according to what they said, yr2 's schedule will be tigher than yr1's. We shall see how then.

You are all that matters

It’s the crave of sleeping with you every wake-up in the mornings.
It’s the noise of my alarm clock that disturbed your sleep.
It’s the getaway you planned so hard but I failed to meet.
It’s the number of “I love you” in exchange with my “I’m sorry”.

It’s the smell of your breathe in the mid of a cold breeze.
It’s the taste of your tongue like nobody’s.
It’s the words you said that made me believe in fairy tales again.
It’s the moment when I look at you and you don’t look away.

It’s the everyday life you turn into Halloween.
It’s how right you were about me that I hate to admit.
It’s how you pretend to like my taste in music.
It’s the number of calls from you in London when I was sick.

And of course, it’s the expensive gifts you showered on me
and telling me how my smile is all you need.

These days…

Finally, I am done with psychology quiz 1 and 2. Just one week after my exam, psychology module kicked in and it’s 10 chapters to study within 5 weeks. Like Biology, it’s an interesting subject, with lots of nice videos to see. But it’s a lot of information to digest with very little time. Seriously, you can’t cover a chapter within the 2 hours lecture. So no choice, weekend have to be spent studying the textbook. Quiz 1- 14/16, Quiz 2- 15/16…not bad right?

Moved out of my hall, which means back to staying at home. I still find it a chore to travel from home to school, especially for just 2 hrs lessons, 3 times a week. Maybe this is the reason why I choose to stay in hall in the first place. I just hope that they will accept my hostel application for my yr2.

Being at home means more tv time. I have been losing touch of the news and the outside world during my stay in hall. Sadly, all the news I heard is not good news. There are so many cases in which people die just like that. Incidents like the 2 NSFs in Taiwan training, the women killed by fallen tree during her morning walk…etc. It really makes me realize how sudden your life can be taken away…like the chickens and ducks in the farms. The only difference is you have your love ones crying for you after you were gone and it’s like that will make things better?!?

Finally, i watched "Hard Candy". It's the movie I wanted to watch since sem1 but I remembered only a few cinemas has it and Eugene chose to watch "The Lake House" over it. By the way, “Hard Candy” is not a porno film. I told so many of my friends and porn is the first thing that came to their heads. Anyway, “Hard Candy” is definitely more realistic and intense than “The Lake house”. It’s about a 32 yo guy meeting up a 14 yo teenage girl whom he chatted over the Internet and realized he is not on top of his game. Still, it’s not porn.

Finally, exam over, yr1 over. Yeah, 3 months long break. I wanna thank akbar and xin xin and sandy and students from my malay class. Without you all, I will not be able to even finished my malay exam paper. So TERIMA KASIH! OH…and happy belated birthday to me…haha…BIG 22 on the 22^nd of April. It’s a big thing!!! Spent it with Eugene, studying material science!?! So glad that my room mate is Eugene. I wanna eat pizza and he agreed. It's really the small little things that count. And thanks for the Avril lavigne CD, The Best Damn Thing. I am happy. And thanks chin bee for spiderman 3 even though she is the one who wanna watch it. I am happy.
22 liao…I still remembered my 21^st birthday wish is to enjoy my uni life and make some good friends, and I did. I just wish my result will be good this time round. Haha… but no matter what my results will be, I tried my best…not studying, but doing the exam papers. Trust me, there is a difference. Meanwhile, I wanna dedicate this song to all the teachers who set the exam papers…Thanks…

I Like Studying on 20042007

I like studying.
The fact that it makes me think,
Think of the weirdest reason,
Just to get out of it.

Suddenly the room needs to be cleaned.
Suddenly my stomach is always empty.
Suddenly I agreed it’s good to sleep early.
Suddenly I can’t seem to breathe.

Maybe it’s due to the weather.
Maybe the bed is a better table.
Maybe I should use pen instead of pencil.
Maybe studying is not my kind of thing after all these years.

Unless the notes have all the answers.
Unless I can beat all those china students.
Unless Avril lavigne would be my teacher.
Unless I can concentrate a little better.

But I like studying,
Just that it makes me think,
Think of the weirdest reason,
To get out of it.

HEADACHE



Since when has it become a monthly post? Haha...guessed that it looks like it for now. Sem 2 is really going very fast, and before i realised it, exam is in less than 20 days. Ya... I know. Here it goes again. It's time to start digging for coins in the spare pockets of my jeans and throw them into the wishing well(if you get wat i meant). I really don't have confidence in any of the paper this time round.
No time, no time, no time... I wrote stuff, will find time to post them after the exam before i lost the bits and pieces of my writing paper. Anyway, this post is not only about whining, but to share a piece of good news. SUN YANZI 10TH Ablum is finally finally out. I quite like it, even though i was hoping for more surprises, most of the songs are her normal bittersweet love songs...which are also good by the way. Maybe I will like it more, and I always will, when I listen to them more, but now, it's back to lecture notes and tutorials.

My own hero


We talked, we nodded,
Showing our signature smiles.
I thought, some sort,
It’s gonna last for awhile.

But no, you go,
Leaving me here alone.
It’s cold and I know,
Only I can be my own hero.

And i say,
Time will grow into years.
Time will tell what you have learnt.
Time will evaporate your tears.
Time will mend what you have burnt.

Soon enough the pain will fade away.
For now, it still feels like yesterday,
The look on your face and the things u said,
The memories still swimming in my head.


PS, Happy Valentine's Day

I’m shedding my skin

Pls don’t think U know me

I'm not who I used to be

Don’t make me into your own belief

It’s a new beginning

Just wait N see

Bittersweet Memories

If you were to ask me what kind of student I used to be,
Honestly speaking, I couldn’t give you an exact answer.
Lessons were always boring from what I could remember,
With me hiding at the far end of the corner.

Ya…I was that kid in high school.
And what kept me going was the trip to school.
I would wake up early to stand in front of the queue,
Not boarding the train until I saw you.

I never knew your name,
We weren’t from the same school.
Your uniform always looked so new,
I felt so good standing next to you.

If only you knew how I feel,
If only I were within your scope of view,
If only you would take some time away from your book,
If only I had the courage to say “I like you”.

True enough, I didn’t get to see you after the summer break.
I even went to wait at your school’s main gate.
It’s either you have moved or graduated,
But it sure left me with one hell of a heartache.

Thanks and no thanks…

Thanks for telling me you visit my blog diligently, no thanks for asking me to update my blog diligently… and thanks for telling me everything is gonna be better once I get used to the situations. I guess I am getting used to being a schoolboy again. Getting used to getting over with getting lousy grades. Now, it’s going to be just mugging for the nightmare that is going to haunt me in less than a month time. Meaning to say, I will be coming in here less often. Anyhow, hope to bring you guys good news during my next update. Wish me luck and all the concentration I need. I will miss you all and this is true.

Get music codes at Bolt.

Tell me...

It’s not about getting the As and Bs,
It’s not about meeting the deadlines,
It’s not about being punctual for lectures,
It’s not about finding answers to your tutorials,
It’s not about getting ahead of the class,
It’s not about chasing time,
It’s not about being right.
Tell me…

A guy like me can only hold up for so long. It’s intense, very very intense hanging in there and I am done. I just want to sit down and waste time. I just want to have more fun. Yeah, I’m unhappy and complaining and you are right, I’m living in Singapore, the tell-me-when-to-smile city. Kill me now…pls…I promise I will die smiling.

Finally....



One week break from school, not school work...but school. Although there's some catching up of work to do, tv time will still be, of course, tv time.

Upload music at Bolt.


This is Me so far….


Sitting in a LT,
That’s how my day usually begins.
With a pencil and a highlighter,
Painting the notes on the table.

Trying hard listening to the lecturer,
As the surrounding’s murmurs getting louder.
An hour passed and I have no idea,
When the lecturer asked if we got the whole picture.

Attending tutorials after lunch is the worst.
Your eyes start to close even if your tutor is a pretty girl.
“Vectors, Optics, Limits, Acid…etc” so many chapters,
Takes only one month to cover.

Soon it’s two weeks to exam.
Chinese saying, I’m like an ant
Under a wok of fire.
Now then I realized,
Uni life is, after all, not that enjoyable.

My 100th entry...


Upload music at Bolt.

A Day As a Banquet

Today, I joined my aunt to be a banquet at the Le Meridien hotel. I always thought working as a banquet would be quite relaxing until I tried it out myself. After filling up the personal information and collecting our uniforms, we went for a briefing by the manager who divided the lot of banquets into 4 teams. In my team, there are 3 guys and 3 gals and turned out that the guys would be the runners whose role was to bring out all the plates of food to gals to serve. Imagine carrying 10 plates of main course dishes on a tray for countless of rounds…Furthermore, different dishes are located at different rooms and you really have to walk fast, not run, so as not to break the plates or glasses. The gals will be inside the hall topping drinks for the guests. After the guests finished the food, the runners then have to bring all the dirty plates, collected by the gals, into the big smelly basin in the kitchen. The grant finale will be the packing up after the guests left. The gals cleared up the tables while the guys stacked up the chairs and rolled the cleared tables into the furniture room. All in all, it’s really like sia kang for just $6 per hour. The good thing is I managed not to break anything and my captain and staffs were nice. But honestly speaking, being a banquet is really not my dish. It’s going to be my once in a lifetime experience and hence, the photo for memory.

Less fantasy, more reality

When Love needed some motions,
Are you going to make it happen?
Don’t just say all the right things,
I’m not sure how long I can keep waiting.

There’s a thing they have been telling me.
Better regret the things you do, than the things you don’t do.
I don’t need you to be a slut or something,
I just need you to know, you can have my cake and eat it too.

So go for it, I’m sure you will like.
Don’t be shy, I shall give you some guides.
Kiss me when you say you love me,
Bite me when you feel like it.

“Less fantasy, more reality” is my policy,
Do you get what I mean?

Before we look at all the pics of smiling faces and celebrate our national day…

I wanna say, stop the war,
Stop those gunshots…

I don’t wanna wake up every morning
To find my only goal is to stay alive,
In this living hell where I see people die,
Every waking moment of my life.

I don’t wanna learn how to use a gun
To have the thought of using it,
To shoot the bad guys who try to rape me
Every night.

I don’t wanna leave everything behind,
Look up to the middle of the sky
For bombs which will be coming down
To where I hide.

I don’t wanna lie to my child,
To say that it is gonna be ok,
When I might be gone for a second,
And never ever be coming back.

I wanna say, we are all
Human beings with thoughts and feelings
for god’s sake,
not just some piece of "walking meat".

Let the anger goes,
Let the bullets go,
Let the innocents go,
Let the tears go.....

I miss Ally Mcbeal .....



This is one of my fav shows which accompanied me through my lonely sec school life...I would never fail to catch it on channel 5...haha...Thinking of getting the dvds...But where???

I just watched the show and I have to say I really enjoyed it. I love watching horror movies especially when they have taught me one thing or two. Of course, if you don’t watch it, you won’t learn from it. So I really urge those who haven’t watched this show to go try. It’s not really scary after all.

Upload music at Bolt.

Too Lost In You






All my friends seem to be doing ok.
Why am I the only one not in the case?
I don’t need plenty of dates,
I just need you to think my way.

Tell me you are busy.
Yes, you know I will believe.
Tell me you are not ignoring me.
Cos you have no idea what you have done to me
By not doing anything.

I wish I could compete
With all those stuff that are preventing you from loving me.
I don’t know what I am doing,
I just wanna make you happy.

And you can’t blame me,
You are the one making me lose me.
God, please tell me it’s worth it,
Or wake me up from this dream.

For those leaving us, leaving Singapore for studies, aka the rich ones....

ppl like chris (already there), yong sheng, ziyang, terrance...etc

A song for u...

A night in the life of a prostitute… Just imagine…

You came in,
Glares exchanged.
You picked me, to make you happy.
First we went hawker to dine-in,
You were not stingy,
I had all I want to eat.

We talked abit,
You said I was too skinny,
You kept feeding me.
But I thought, being thin
Is one of the reasons you chose me.

Next, to a hotel room, we booked in.
You were nervous, I could see.
It’s good, cos I don’t like guys too friendly.
Then…

“DON”T READ FURTHER IF U THINK U WILL GET OFFENDED”

After we bathed, this is when it begins.
Your hands on my silky skin,
Your lips exploring every inch,
You were gentle, like it’s your first time in.

"You are my master; I’m your queen."
“Go deep, feel the magic…”
On bed, on table, on floor beside the fringe,
God, you were better than I imagined.

It’s 3am, you were sleeping like a baby.
On the lamp table, I saw your money.
Not wanting to wake you,
I took it, assuming it’s for me.
Good night and good bye, Mr....eh...darling.

It all Started with a Router…haha...

I am so happy!!! I sold my first Linksys Wireless N router today. Haha, never thought I can make that deal before I quit the job. Reason is because it’s the newest and most expensive router from Linksys (just came out during the IT show 2006 in early this month) and it’s an untold-but-known policy that whenever customers come into the shop to ask for expensive stuff (meaning more than $200), they belong to the seniors’ sale. However, today, it’s only a senior, a junior and I.

“Oh my god, I nearly forgot to mention: I have got a junior. Haha… My boss is kind enough to give me a newcomer to torture for a while before I leave the job. Haha… I’m kidding la. Just ask him to do all the vacuuming of floor, wiping the glass panes, clearing of garbage, putting the price tags, arranging the goods and buying lunch for the rest of us while I’m reading Today only mah. I mean that’s what he will be doing after I leave, so it’s good to let him adapt to the working environment fast. Right?!? Haha…”

Back to the topic, so my senior was serving a customer who was planning to get an IP camera (most expensive in the shop…). Then this customer came in and asked for linksys router. I have no idea he want, or neither did he know that he want a Wireless N router. After explaining to him how a router actually works, he wished to take a look at the high-end router, which leads to me introducing him the $239 product. This is my first time trying to sell that product to a customer and when he said he wants, I tell you, even my senior stopped explaining to his customer and looked at us. Haha… The feeling is really really great. It reminded me of the first router I sold when I first started working. For those who don’t know, before I joined the company, I know no shit about what router is. Haha….

But good times always end fast. Tomorrow will be my last day working at Sim lim. When I handed my resignation letter to my boss, he asked me whether I wished to work part time on Saturdays and Sundays when school starts. I promised to give him an answer after I got my NTU course time-table. If time permit, there’s no reason to say “NO” to money.

I really have a great time working all these while. I must really thank the staff, my boss and my friends who came to visit me and see how I am doing. I really appreciated it. Plus, I also saw some celebrities like, jeanette aw, bryan wong from super idol, Linda liow…. etc.

Now, I’m just looking forward to having a good break and some revision before school starts. For those who are free and interested, can ask me out in the month of July. Be quick to book me, before you need a queue number from me…haha…

Love to game

You think I have a motive to be good to you.
If so, do you still want me to be good to you?
Cos you were angry when I start to ignore you.
Please tell me if I fit your bill,
I’m tired of trying to guess how you feel.

Can I still trust love to know me best;
To help me determine whether to be happy/sad;
To return to my first love if she wants me back;
Or to just settle for the 2^nd best?

Cos love is not a dating game;
Definitely not some competitions among ‘kids’.
So don’t treat me like a pig,
To come to me just to satisfy your needs.
You should know what I meant.

Time flies…

Today is my off day and I have to go for my follow up appointment at the national eye center. It’s been a week since my lasik surgery and, according to my doctor, Mr Leonard Ang, everything is looking fine. “The eyesight will still fluctuate as the wound is still healing and an eye test will be done to confirm your perfect eyesight one month later.” That’s was he said.

After that, it’s dinner time at Jurong Point with Mingrui and Zhaojun. It’s first meet up after we got our A level results in 2004. 2 years come and go, just like that. We had Fish & Co. which was also a birthday treat for Zhaojun from the 2 of us. My first time at Fish & Co. and I would say the food just tasted ok. But seriously, it’s the company and the time we had that counts. We chatted just about anything and it’s good to know that everything is looking good for the both of them. I mean, 2 years and they still look the same as before, just prettier… haha… If you don’t believe me, just look at the pics below. But don’t need to think too much cos both of them are attached liao… I can’t wait to go ntu and see how the rest of my friends are doing. According to them, they are doing not bad either. After the chatting and window-shopping and photo taking, it’s home sweet home, tired but happy.

Zhaojun and me

Mingrui and me (smiled until cheek ache cos zj dont know how to use my cam, keep retaking)

Finally, the DA4 HE2 Zhao4

Current Song :Cry- faith hill

I Hate You

I thought I have given you up,
Until you suddenly showed up.
I didn’t know what to do,
I hid behind you.

I couldn’t help but look at you,
Though I didn’t even have the guts to ask, “How are you?”
Until you were out of my view,
Pain is only what I could feel.
That’s when I realized I am far from over you.

I hate you for making me fall for you.
I hate you for telling me how to deal,
Bullshitting about what time could heal.
I hate you for not feeling any guilt.

If only there’s one last thing you could do for me,
Please help me to get you out of my life completely.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate......

“Just relax your eyes and focus on the red light…”

Yah, that’s what my operating doctor said to me in the Operation Room (OR) when I went for my lasik today. 10 question marks immediately popped out above my head. “Focus or relax?” I asked the doctor. “Focus.” He told me. Obediently, I followed all the instructions and I must say it went quite well. No pain, just lied down and looked up at the red dot of light for 5min and let him do the work. And that’s it, end of operation. Now, all I have to do is to put artificial teardrops every 15 mins and antibiotic drop every 2 hours…for a week. Tomorrow will be a check to see if every thing went as well as I thought. Till then, I will be keeping my fingers crossed and dropping my teardrops.

SO HOW......

So this is how you express love?
Just said it and then go sleep with others.
After the night of action then come call me your precious.

Tell you what, darling, I don’t work this way no more.
I can wake up in the middle of my sweet little dream and not free any heartache.
Just because I know it’s all unreal anyway.

So you think I will turn and look the other side,
When you finally decide to apologize for my countless sleepless nights.
Save your breath cos I not need that,
I am fine over at this side.

So if you have crossed the line I drew,
And still act like nothing’s wrong and be so cool.
Don’t blame me for walking out without leaving a clue.
I want you out of my life for good.

A walk down memory lane


Weijie>>>Won Bin>>>Chad>>>???

2003 jc2 Pioneer Junior College


2004 Sispec


2005 Kranji Camp NAtional Day Carnival



2006 ORD

Love me, Pick me, Choose me


Like a breeze, it comes gently and goes quietly.
Only the ones in it felt it no matter how light it is.
Very often we let it slip away before we realized what we missed.
Ever did anyone tell you to feel it if you can’t see?

My lord, here I am speaking like a love pro.
Even when I know you know so much I don’t know.

Please forgive me, for not listening.
I was blinded by the light others gave.
Can you give me a second chance?
Keep me warm again with your golden sun.

Memories might trap us and stop us from moving forward,
Eating our guts to love might not necessarily prevent hurt.

Connect your body, mind and soul.
Hop onto the ride; be ready to get what you have sowed.
Only the good ones grow well to be told.
Only the good ones know.
So don’t waste anymore chances, stop being cold.
Every little thing adds up to your goal.

My friend, if you know what I mean,
Email me, tell me about it.

Don't be ALARMED with my Alarm Clock


A lot of people have been asking me about the list of stuff I bought from Sim Lim Square. "Good or bad? Got cheaper or not? Why buy this? Why like that?" Haha... I don't mind being the guinea pig or to answer all your questions, but please don't question my answers. If that's the case, why bother to ask me in the first place? For those who know me well will know that I don't spend money like running tap water. In fact, I would consider myself to be someone who is too careful with money, especially, when it comes to my hard earned money you are talking about. So there's this question about the alarm clock that I die die have to buy at Sim Lim. Haha... I find it quite practical wat... I need it to wake me up every morning for work!!! And it's also because of its design. Don't know how to describe. Here's the picture of it... with me...



It's very cheap. Can still get back your change with a $10 note.

Similar faces, all doing great


thanks junjie for the photo


So here we are, gathered for the first time after we ord, at the suntec ballroom for our ord dinner. I must say, it’s the best dinner I have since my prom night. I don’t know why, I can’t help but to recall back my prom night. Maybe it’s because of the formal thing, and MC and the games stuff and the lucky draw… Ya, I think it’s the formal thing. I never wear formal clothes to dinners, other than prom night, n then this. It’s a good dinner though, no ranks, no hard feelings, no nothing, just a bunch of friends coming together, enjoying a nice evening.

After all, nothing can beat a night spent with good entertainment, good food with good friends beside. Speaking about good entertainment, all thanks to the MC of the night. God, he is so so good that he made 41SAR looked such a fun unit to stay in. I came so close to consider signing on to the unit. Haha…. Just kidding. But still, he is good and experienced. Witty and yet crappy speeches, good timing to music, he seems to be doing this like forever.

Seeing how well each and everyone is doing, even for the regulars and those still in army- waiting to get out, can’t help but feel happy for them. Really, ORD is great. ORD means a lot of things made possible ahead. Seeing all these smart people, once I have worked with, fulfilling their various dreams, really make me excited for them too. Haha… I don’t know exactly what their various dreams were, or how well they are working on them, but I know that they all looking very good, too good to be letting all their wishes say NO to them. Still I wish all of them the very best.

Now back at home, back to reality… need to get back to bed. Working tmr… nite

With hairs, comes white hair


1. Work, work and more work… No time for TV, let alone blogging. Eating dinner, Watching grey’s anatomy and blogging at the same time. Ya, tell me about it.

2. Shop, shop and more shopping. Suddenly realized how many stuff I brought home from SIM LIM Square. A linksys router, Panasonic earphones, usb 2.0 pci, 50 dvd-r, alarm clock ?!?, TV tuner and most importantly, an Acer laptop. I think I am returning all my pay back to sim lim… or more…

3. I am happy. Unlike most of my customers, I am able to put the stuff I bought into good use. Done setting up a network with my pc and laptop using a router, record TV programes into my pc using TV tuner, burn the shows into DVD with my laptop. Phew~ But still, got time to burn, no time to watch.

4. Begin to pick up on reading, on the mrt trains to and back from work. That’s the only time I have for myself. Now reading “A simple story” by S.Y.Agnon. Not so much of a simple story, but it’s a nice, enchanting, easy to read book.

5. So many invitations I cant go to. For examples, my army mate, Chris Neo leaving Singapore for good but I cant go airport to send him off, jc friend, lena’s 21 birthday party, the ord dinner coming up…still not sure if I can attend it or not. Haiz…. All because of my job. I’m sorry, but not so sorry. Reason because I happen to like my job very much.

6. Still I need a break. I want to give myself a time off before entering ntu. So maybe, I will be handing in my resignation letter at the end of june. Yeah, they are expecting a resignation letter from me, how ionic is that. We shall see.

7. They said, “what you don’t think of cant attract you”, but, thinking of how you are not in my thoughts, I thought of you. Hope you are listening…

8. All in all, my life is organized in the way it wants to be right now.

9.Ord, the best thing that has happened to me so far.

LOVE . RULES . NOT FUNNY


Isn’t love a funny thing?
Or is it us being ionic?
Ok, we all know it’s something we need.
And we will go all the way,
Just to find that special somebody.
Lying, being screwed… so be it.

But when we finally come face to face with it,
We turn away,
Too timid, so to speak,
Too afraid of losing it.

No, I’m not going to turn away this time.
I’m not going to do something I might regret
For the rest of my life.

Because I still like it when you care if my appetite is fed,
Because I still like it when you order food for me.
Because I still like it when you know what is good for me.
Because I still like it when you do the thing (with that thing).

And so,
If love has a rule, screw it.
Life is too damn short to be following with these rules.
If love comes with a price, bring it.
I have got nothing to lose.

Working society I gonna adapt fast to enjoy it

Finally no OT today, and after a nap, I decided to write about my first 3 days experience as an IT retail assistant at SIM LIM SQUARE. First of all, I must be considered lucky that the staffs I have been working with so far are quite nice to me. I have learnt a lot about networking like cables, routers, bluetooth, PDAs and memory cards, which I hardly come across to before I started working. Basically, that’s what we sell. Everyone has been very patience with me and I am trying to learn fast to not be a troublesome colleague to the senior stuffs.

A daily routine in a shop for me is to tidy up the shop in the morning, greet and serve the customers who entered the shop and answers their questions as short and simple as possible. At the end of the day, 7.30pm++, count the day’s earning and close the shop. As a temp staff, making a deal and competing sale’s coda with my working staff is the least concern I have in mind. I am just enjoying the conversations I have with the customers (mainly the good looking ones) and the things I do. But that doesn’t mean I feel good when the temp staffs keyed in their names instead of mine when I was the one who sell the products to the customers. You see, I am still new and I am still not allowed to touch the cashier computer. But, for now, I just treat it as my learning fee for them and if they really need my sales to help them hit the 40k coda per month for commission, I am glad to help.

Throughout these 3 days, I have seen some of my friends already. At least they still recognize me in long sleeve shirt and business pants and leather shoes. Before that, I don’t even know there’s sale person who wears formal wear in SIM LIM. I am not complaining about the attire or anything, NO, I am complaining about the attire. I HAVE LIMITED PAIRS OF LONG SLEEVE SHIRTS AND BUSINESS PANTS. Haha… But that’s nothing when compared to long hours of standing (11am-8pm), 6 workdays a week, no lunch break (have to eat in shop when there’s no customer), a nasty boss and sometimes, nasty customers too. By the time I reached home, it’s about 10pm tired and hungry (without having my dinner yet). It’s hard earned money I have to say. 4th day is Good Friday and I am expecting more customers. Just looking forward to my first off day now. Nite…

At Last, I C My IC Again

10th of April,
No longer a soldier.
No more suffer
Under SAF’s orders.

“Ord lor!!!”
Finally said it like I really mean it. Throughout these 2 yrs and 4 mths, I think I have met and interact with more people than I ever have during my school days. PTP>>BMT>>SISPEC>>SOA>>KRANJI CAMP, Smelly Recruit>>Lousy Spec.

Not all people are nice,
True feelings they tend to hide.
And they don’t always do what you like.
Some of them even bite.

There were times when I really felt like quitting (downgrade and find the easy way out). Fortunately/ Unfortunately, due to my “chicken little” characteristic, I carried on with it and here I am writing this. Before closing this chapter of my life(it’s about time already), I wanna say thank you to all the people who help me throughout the journey and make my experience one that is free of Extras, 12o6, SOL, DB…..etc. THANK YOU……Lastly, for those who are still on this journey, I wanna say to you, “hang on, it’s soon gonna be your turn.”

Last night, I had a gathering with my sec school band friends for the first time in 4 years. It’s a pity for those who can’t make it because we really had a good time. Everyone looks pretty good and successful at their stage of lives right now. One thing that hasn’t change is that they are still very nice people. We went for a restaurant for dinner before kboxing till 2.15am at orchard. My first kbox experience and it’s with a bunch of friends I haven’t met in years. Just hope that I didn’t embarrass myself and everyone in the room. Another added bonus is I got clips for my secondary four SYF band performance. For those who didn’t know, I was a percussionist in my school years. Below are the clips and if you are looking for me, I am the one standing behind at the left side of the stage playing the timpani. Well, it’s not pro standard, we got bronze, but it’s all good memories. Once again, thank you Xiu Hua for everything.

PHS SYF 2001 Intro



PHS SYF 2001 Singapura Medley



PHS SYF 2001 Oregon

Lost to helpless


Sometime I wish I were mute,
Since I can’t express what I want.
Always saying the wrong things at the wrong time,
Causing trouble, killing all the fun.
Sometime I wish I were deaf,
Especially when I were mute.
No points hearing others sing when I can’t.
Give me either all or none.
Sometime I wish I were blind.
But not when I was deaf and mute.
I still don’t wanna be left behind,
To be helpless and wait for someone kind.
Haiz, screw it,
I can’t even make up my mind.

We All Grow

Little children grow,
Grow to what they wanna show.
To impress people they wanna know,
To get into the flow and go
To fulfill their dreams and goals,
To become greater person they ever know.
Eventually to find someone before getting old,
And make life less cold as they were told.
Yes, little children grow
To what only time will know.

I got the Job


The news came earlier than what I expected. I was actually still sleeping when Joyse called. I called back and she told me to go to her office at 11am on 11 April 2006 before she will accompany me to the IT shop, which I will be working in SIM LIM. You see, I told you she is a nice person and nice person brings good news. Looking forward to the 10 April 2006, my ORD date like I always do.

Today I went for my first ever job interview to be a retail assistant in an IT shop. It’s short but went pretty well. I reached the office about 15 min earlier and was asked to wait in a meeting room. While waiting, a lady gave me an application form to fill up my particulars. She didn’t bring me pen but luckily for me, I got mine in my bag. Then it was the interview in another room with another lady named Joyse. She was rather soft spoken and instead of telling me what they require the person they want to hire to be, she asked me for what I would like to do. She made the interview about me instead of about them, which is nice because it really makes the conversation less pressure for a first timer like me. Everything she said was quite pleasant for my ears, nevertheless the 6 days work week. I mean if there’s one thing SAF had taught me for the past 2 years, it has to be to go for what you like and not to focus on money and other stuff. But of course, that is when you have the choice in the first place. After 20 min of chatting, I began to get a little cold because of the air con and my stomach starts to make noise. To prevent her from listening to that noise, I spoke non-stop and made sure there’s never a point of time neither of us were talking. Fortunately, I don’t think she hear things she was not supposed to and it all ended by her telling me to wait for her call on Friday while she gets back to her boss. One thing they considering is that I only can work for 3 months before going for studies. Like I have got any other choice, I’ll wait.

Now stop what you are doing, listen to me.
You see, now singing is the most ‘in’ thing
And there’s nothing greater than being on TV.
Prepare yourself; get your voice ready,
Cos you never know who they are voting.
Sometimes you got in, sometimes you got out,
Sometimes, if you were really lucky,
You got in after you got out.
But remember this,
There’s no reason to be sad if you can’t win,
At least you got yourself on TV.
Give yourself some credit,
Your passion is what they can’t beat.

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

I learnt to appreciate coffee,
When my aunt insisted hers was good;
I took a sip.
I learnt to appreciate maggi,
When my grandma cooked it for me,
Using her secret recipe.
I learnt to appreciate myself,
When I see the figures jumping in my bank account monthly,
I bought myself gifts.
I learnt to appreciate friends,
When they told me it’s on every Monday night,
They brought happiness to my life.
I learnt to appreciate my home,
When I only got to visit it once every week,
With that, I thank the army.

Does it really matter about what people have to say?
Does it always have to be their way?
So you let them touch your breast just because they said it’s fake?
So you let them take advantage and then get paid?
Maybe there’s nothing wrong with being fake.
Maybe it’s better for to be hated.
God, why do we have to go through so much pain?
God, why did you die for us if that’s the case?

Junk food is junk food.
You don’t add some vege,
And then call it healthy.
So don’t get too happy,
When they served you chips.
It’s not like it is not heaty enough,
They added it with chili.
Of course I’m sure it’s tasty,
But, of course, I’m sure you want to be healthy.

Song of the day : Into the fire By Thirteen Senses

So it’s like “desperate housewives” didn’t give me the kick enough, “Grey’s anatomy” just got me hooked. I don’t know if I’m the only TV freak here, but “Grey’s anatomy” just rocks big time. I mean it’s ER + SCRUBS + hell lots more… It always gives me goosebumps (the good ones) every time I watched the show and I don’t know how I can describe it further than to ask you to watch it yourself if you want to know what I am talking about. For those who don’t know, it’s on channel 5 every Mondays at 11pm, right after the “desperate housewives”. It really makes being doctors and surgeons seems like a very cool and meaningful job to have, and even if you would think maybe, it’s just another drama series, why not give it a try and maybe get a cure for your “Monday blues”? I know I did and it kind of work for me…...

Festival people



We just saw that in Chinese New Year,
Festivals bring in people.
Collecting red packets after reunion dinner,
Is one out of many examples.
Busy people kind of needs them more than other,
To have a reason to rest and gather.
Luckily for them,
Festivals come one after another.
Valentine’s day comes right after the New Yr.
So who is complaining no time to spend with their lovers?

Faces I see everyday,
People I work with everyday,
Not always the ones I like everyday,
Not always work the way I like everyday.
It sucks but so is life anyway.
And somehow it’s the only way.
To handle things which are not child’s play.
Some idiots come and go along the way
“At least it’s not happening everyday…” I pray.

Whatever I do, I don’t have to answer to you
You fuckin' piece of shit.
You are the slacking, not-doing-anything ass-pipe
You don’t deserve the right to comment on people not working
You are stupid enough to suck in all the crap you think is right
You thought you are so cool now, not doing anything.
I’m telling you, I don’t give a shit about you,
So u better leave me alone, you pig-ass-big-head-cow-dung.



Finally, i let it out.
Two more months...

We are all humans after all


I never actually talk about my army life ever since I entered unit simply because, first, there is nothing good or worth to tell, second is I don’t wanna accidentally spill any restricted secret out and get myself into unnecessary trouble. Trust me, it doesn’t worth a hydrogen atom. But this week, I see a lot. Really a lot. I see how good people work with good people, I see how good people work with bad people, I see how bad people who doesn’t work and only know how to cause trouble. People tell lies, but bad people are those who tell lies unnecessarily and put blame on the good people. This sort of people can be found everywhere. I myself cannot stand liars. I realized that when I discover all the people I dislike are all fakers and good “actors”. Talking bad stuff behind people’s back is really not my kind of thing and before that, I thought that this entry is going to be one for me to vent my anger on this idiot in camp and let it all out. This is until when I reached home and then, magically, all the frustrations went away and understand that we are all humans after all. Maybe that’s why I always wanna go nowhere, but to return home to my family. Family is still the best.


That I Would Be Good
by Alanis Morissette / sun yanzi

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you

Goo Goo Dolls Feat Avril Lavigne - Iris (Live VH1 Fashion Ro

2006, I don’t know why.
If u carry on to be like that,
I’m starting to miss 2005.
All the anticipation and things like that,
Never goes accordingly as planned.
And I still wanna believe in you,
Only because that’s the only thing I can do.
Believing that things will somehow get better,
Believing that people will treat each other better.
Believing that the world will fail us never.
Believing that life is now or never.
Believing is all that I can do……

This is life
Just like we need food to stay alive,
Human’s needs are never satisfied.
Haven’t learnt to walk; yet they want to fly.
Never settle with simple; they always want it better.
Until it’s over; before they thought of the word “treasure”.
God, I just pray I don’t die being a sinner.
I promise I will be better this year…

Few more hours before we say our final goodbye to 2005 and welcome our long await 2006. 2005 has been the most challenging year for me so far. There have been a lot of new people met, new changes to adapt and new requirements needed to meet. Scary, scary, scary… Luckily, I have some true friends to count on and I really have to thank them for being so understanding. I know I have to work on my childish acts and situation awareness. 2006 is definitely a good year to look ahead to. We got my ord coming, yar… and, actually this reason is more than enough…haha…Got to go countdown…You know you have to show it if you really want it…

We are all busy,
Too busy to care more about each other’s feelings.
That’s why we have festivals like thanksgiving,
To show, in our lives, that you are not missing.
So don’t be such a petty,
It’s not like you are all so giving.
Just remember we are all busy,And well, at least, we got our thanksgiving.

Your Birthdate: April 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated.You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Two years ago, on this very day, I enlisted. Meaning to say, today is my 2nd yr anniversary with SAF. Not something great, not something worth celebrating but, it's still a date. Today's NSF no longer need to meet this date, unless they do something so wrong that will extend their ord dates. I believe that's the last thing they wish to happen. They said, you can skip army if you got the money, but I think, it's not bad to get paid to learn some gunnery after all.


For a friend of mine who unfortunately died during army,


He is a boy with a simple mind,
always tries to help others and be kind.
Never think of himself or his life,
he is one of a kind you can't find.


After his jc years, it's 2 years of NS.
Feeling motivated, there's nothing to fear.
But after a year, there's ought to be tears.
No matter how much he hates it, there's still another year.


It's not about being pushed around.
It's not about a new bad friend you found.
It's not about the many mistakes you lost count.
It's really not as bad as it sounds.

For all the things I've got,

I praise the lord.

For all the things I'm not,

I praise the lord.

For he gives me a place to belong,

for he gives me a good life i always forgot,

for everything and anything,

I praise the lord.

Some stuff I wrote when I was in Australia, RockHampton.


To my greatest grandpa,


I know you are happy,
I see you smiling in my dreams.
I’m sorry,
Your love is so taken for granted when you were alive.
I hope you are with me,
Not the things you left behind.
I miss you so badly,
Words can’t even describe.
Sweet memories I will keep,
Till I meet you in my second life.


Idiot / fuc*ker


I hate when people are so practical.
They smile at you
Only when they need a favour.
And throw you one side
When you are not needed any further.
Indeed, it makes you feel like an idiot.
Trying to wonder, “is it worth taking the trouble?”
In the end, it’s up to each individual
To be an idiot or a fuc*ker.



Making Love


At 20,
I love you,
To let you take my breath,
Make you sweat,
Kiss your ass.

At 30,
I love you,
To let you in my body,
Taste your honey,
Bear your baby.

At 40,
I love you.
I lied,
Fake my orgasm,
Let you rest.


I need money.
Any kind soul to help me?
Get me a job that’s easy,
And not time consuming.
Considering the fact that I’m still in the army.
I’m not choosy,
But for god’s sake,
Stop telling me to go changi,
To sell my ass and body.
I’m not that cheap to start with.
Seriously, I need money.
Can you hire me?


Look at me,
That’s only so much you can see.
Don’t judge me,
You don’t even know me.
Let me be,
Like you care if I were happy.
Set me free,You know you don’t need me.

To all my friends, I’m back
Thanks for all the concern you have had
I’m still good so don’t be scared.
Now all I need is a short little nap.

3 weeks,
21 days,
504 hrs,
30240 min,
1814400s
Yes, it’s ex Wallaby
Yes, it’s in Australia
Yes, it’s oversea
Yes, it sounds fun to you…
But, No, at least not for me
For god sake,
No TV,
No favorite music,
No Internet,
No favorite food,
No air-con,
No bed,
No cinema,
No family…etc and the list go on n on n on n…



Supposedly I am anticipating for the trip. Really, I meant, it’s my 2nd time riding on a plane (SIA some more), and it’s Australia. I wanted to go there since young, only because that’s the only foreign country my primary school English teachers used to mention. No, not US, not German or Italy, but that’s really beside the point. The point is, everybody’s first response to my trip is “wooh, Australia, must be fun. Army is so good to you, must bring me gifts.” I understand that they meant well but they forgot that I am not there for holiday. I have to tell them the real deal for being there and all the Nos and it begins to make me feel sian. I hope it’s not that bad. Taiwan trip was fun. Anyway, since it’s just tomorrow, let’s just pray that everything goes smoothly and we all come back in one piece on 251105. I wanna come back a better person, with no regret and hard feelings with anybody. I mean, I still love the country. World peace. Read today’s paper….why can’t we looking forward to our festivals and celebrate them just like before? What’s wrong with the terrorists? Don’t they have families too? “Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know” quoted from the book [The five people you meet in heaven]

Say no more, my heart can’t break further.


I know you need a lover, not a partner.


It’s time for us to part,


Goodbye my angel, my dearest sweetheart.


It kills me to think of words to say.


No word can describe the love we shared.


First kiss, first tear, first Christmas,


All memories in my head, still so clear.


Time, I need a break.


Seriously,


Wake me up when November ends.

Looking at these photos, i realised,
Life is not as cold as i was being told.
Memories unfolded, no, they can't be sold.
But as i looked around me, i can't help but asked,
where did everybody go?

In life, we all have different goals-
Some we accomplished,
some we forgone.
But, wherever you go,
please let me know.
I may not follow, but at least,
I can answer to the moon
when he asks me so....

Chemistry ME


I'm, not yet, a man,
without any fashion sense.
Just doing the best that I can,
so thank you for being such a fan.


So this is life,
I like you but you don't like[me]
I do stupid things
and hope that you will change your mind.
Still there's something that is missing,
maybe it's what we called CHEMISTRY.


Our mother EARTH is angry,
and she's not afraid of showing it.
What message is she sending?
When are we going to get it?

I know


I know I’m not smart,
That’s why I got to work double hard.
Not to get what I want,
But what I deserve at least.
I know we don’t always
Get what we want in life.
I know it’s not something we like,
But I know it’s something we can’t rectify.
It’s like you want to sleep,
You switch off the light.
But he switches it on,
Just because he’s inside.
I know I should look at the bright side,
At least he is not making any noise.

YOU DUNNO

Feed your appetite,
you never seem to be satisfied.
Suit your way of doing things,
your views we never seem to meet.
Tell you "I LOVE YOU",
you never seem to acknowledge.
Shut you out of my life completely,
you never seem to realise....

FIRST LOVE
Sometimes i think of it and cry,
why is it so hard no matter how i try?
Worst of all, you are not by my side.
You left me standing outside.


You always say you play by the rules.
But love isn't a game, you fool.
There isn't a way to do it,
There ain't gonna be no clue.


My friends told me about your lies,
and things you are trying to hide.
I still love you that i can't deny,
Am i still the one you like?


But the day will still come,
When we look back
and see what we have done.
I promise you will still be the one
who has made my heart a broken one.



TEll me,
U're not really Leaving me
cos U will not bear to give Me sadNess
in this Hour of Silent.
TEll me,
U're not really Leaving me.
U're just punishing Me for yr freedom
stolen by my love.