2009 already?

It’s always about the time
When I give you my very best,
You take it but let it go the very next second,
Like you don’t even care how I feel.

I learnt to shut my mouth and not ask why,
Explanations can only lead to more lies.
I know to love you means I have to cope.
The question is how long before my head explores.

One-sided relationships, I have enough.
Most of the time, I was alone by myself.
You played me round and round,
Like a clown to always make you smile.

Now, it’s only fair for me to get what I want.
Without losing the self-respect I barely left,
I will fake it like I’m happy with your decision
rather than to beg for your forgiveness.

Ready To Commit

Today, again, we didn’t chat.
I thought that’s it, you don’t want me back.
I have no reason to ask you to forget,
Or to forgive the mistake I have made.

I promised to wait.
Afterall, it’s my decision; I got no one to blame.
Till I find another smile on your face,
Tomorrow is gonna be another long, long day.

Because I still never stop thinking about you.
Because you never fail to remind me you're the victim and I’m the culprit.
Because it’s exhausting to bring you back to the beginning when we met.
Because I made a foolish choice, I got to live with that.

That time I ran away cos I’m not ready.
Now I will wait for you to be ready.

Emptiness

It’s creepy
It’s silence
It’s helpless.
It’s frustrating.
It’s devastating.
It’s coming over me.
It’s haunting me bit by bit.

I need a job. Period.

Under Pressure

There's always times like this,
when I feel the need to escape,
when life is a bully I can't beat,
when I'm so afraid of losing.

Losing my self esteem,
losing the hope to dream,
losing the touch of reality,
losing the ability to compete.

There's always times like this,
when I am caught in between.
I don't want to be a victim,
nor I want to hurt anybody.

I just need to be with myself,
calm down and sort things out.
You can't help me,
so don't try to find out.

Guess What? (Get hooked to Life)

Only the best deserves the best,
That’s how the world works fair.
Give more, take less,
That’s how you will gain respect.

Live now, worry tomorrow,
Since it will be a better day.
The ability to believe is all it takes,
Well, at least that’s what people say.

Never try, never know,
And that’s what I followed.
Threw aside what I’m good at,
Got hooked to what I don’t.

Yet life is still a mist,
I never know what I have missed.
All I have is my name,
All I know is I can be better than this.

Just Dance

It’s just the start of the ride,
And no one can see the end.
I’m gonna loosen up,
Before losing myself in this mess.
Forget what the rest have to say,
Quit asking about the plan.
Get into the music,
Just dance…

LIVE.LIFE.DO.STUPID_THINGS

Sometimes life can be very lonely,
So much so it makes you do stupid things.
Things you thought might bring you some company,
Mistakes you are afraid you might make again.

Still you do them anyway,
And time and again, the cycle will drag you in.
Like the lottery tickets you keep buying,
Even though there’s no sign of winning.

So you fight like you never win before,
You fall like you never been hurt before,
You love like you never bleed before.
You cry like you never been loved before.

Sometimes life can be very lonely,
So much so it makes you do stupid things.

Help Me

It started off with the time,
When we didn’t know what we were doing.
Fooling around without a clue.
And for a while, it’s actually fun.
We tried to stick to it,
Hold on to it as long as we could.
But too bad, change is the only constant we can get to.

Then it’s everything we begin to define.
The relationship, the dates and the gifts,
And the dates you forgot to give.
How much time we wasted on asking, “how much you love me?”
And the many sleepless nights,
Without you by my side,
Thinking you could be with anybody.

We forgot the peace from believing what you see,
The satisfaction we can get from freedom,
The happiness from our blessed innocence, and
The respect from our self-righteousness.

If it’s my responsibility to let you leave,
Let me know even though it’s the last thing I bear to give.

Call me Crazy

You gave me a kiss on my cheek
And I stick with you forever.
Yah, I’m that foolish,
And won’t life be a lot easier,
If that were to work for the other party.

No lying, no cheating, no apologize
In many years to come, just you and me,
And the butterflies in our stomachs
Will get to taste our secrets along the journey.

And we don’t even need to get married.
A cert, it can’t possibly prove anything.
But your kiss,
For your kiss, I can do anything,
Even if forever is what it means.

Forever may be a dream,
But at least it’s something sweet.

Get a grip

It’s not anger I’m feeling,
Cos it would mean I might care even abit.
But just to make it clear so it won’t hurt anybody.
I’m not someone you wanna mess with.

I won’t say I’m sorry even when I’m wrong,
I won’t apologise for being strong.
It’s too bad if you think I’m hard to get along,
I’m entitled to have an individuality of my own.

And don’t assume that I’m cold,
When I have my feelings and thoughts under control.
And please don’t assume that I’m a lone,
You are just not invited to my parties, that’s all.

If you are afraid of falling,
Get a grip.

Maryland - Vonda Shepard

I've been thinking
I've been thinking I've been thinking too much.
I just want to live now for a little while.
And cast my dreams to the wind
Don't wanna wonder
Don't wanna wonder what it's all about
I'm just working for a living singing with my friends
As I cast my dreams to the wind

Maryland I'm coming home
Never worry about what I did wrong.
And that I'll never be what my daddy wanted me to be
and I'llnever see what my mama's dreams were
But I will sing
La la la la la la la la...

I wanna fly
I wanna fly down the highway to my home away from home.
This funky funky club on Fairfax Avenue to see you.
I'll never give up
Because what is there to give up anyway?
I'm just working for a living working for my pay
In Maryland it's raining somewhere in some cafe.

我要我爱自己

当我的用心不受肯定，
当寻找又遇到了瓶颈，
当我的努力回到原地，
当一切只能听天由命。

当家人都把我给放弃，
当朋友的话不能相信，
当敌人不再把我当假想敌，
当对我好的人都别有居心。

当天空都布满乌云，
当天地人不合在一起，
当黑白不再分明，
当事实叫人身不由己。

当冷嘲热讽一直在我身上淋，
当伤口不只是表皮，
当爱失去原本的意义，
当可怜不再得到同情。

Enough is enough

You took a piece of me,
The piece I’m not ready to give.
But you took it anyway,
Leaving me to find my way back.

And yet I’m still the selfish one,
The one to get blamed all the time.
Now it looks like you are the only one having fun,
I’m finally ready to say I have had enough.

Enough of your excuses and complaints,
Mine is never let to be shared.
Enough of your face,
You are no longer my taste.
Enough of asking me over your place
Just to be a sex toy for you to play.
Enough of all the past and yesterday,
You are no longer what you said.

When enough is too much to take,
I rest my case.

Challenges

The mornings you tried to drag yourself out of bed.

The days when giving up is not an option.

The boss who doesn’t appreciate individuality.

The part before the fairy tale ending.

The pain which brings you back to reality.

The struggle between moral and money.

In the end, it’s the things which drive you forward.

Do I still love my life?

我想我是真的有点累了。。。(不能放弃)


Nobody says thing’s going to be easy.
And they, they make it hard on purpose.
So that by the end of everything,
You will remember its worth,
And the reasons why you succeed.

Chasing for something that might not even exist

Soon after the clock stop ticking,
the world stop spinning,
we shall know what forever really means…
But before that happens, I’m just glad you are where I’m at.

Cos the truth can stink,
Dreams can be left hanging
with our wounds cut so deep.
Nobody care if we would survive,
They laugh to fill the void they had.

Even so, you said a happy theme song a day,
That’s all you need.
I wish my life could be that easy,
Then “forever” would be more desirable for me.

And yet I thought we were all put onto this world for a purpose.
And it happens that yours is to find what’s mine.
You are the one I can’t live without,
And I am thankful you feel the same.

I will be, at that place somewhere over the rainbow, only with you.
That’s the pact we have made before we sealed the deal.:)

Island In The Sun

hip hip
hip hip
hip hip
hip hip

When you're on a holiday
You can't find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And I wanna feel it too

On an island in the sun
We'll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can't control my brain

hip hip
hip hip

When you're on a golden sea
You don't need no memory
Just a place to call your own
As we drift into the zone

On an island in the sun
We'll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can't control my brain

We'll run away together
We'll spend some time forever
We'll never feel bad anymore

hip hip
hip hip
hip hip

On an island in the sun
We'll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can't control my brain

We'll run away together
We'll spend some time forever
We'll never feel bad any more

Hip Hip

We'll never feel bad anymore
(hip hip)
(hip hip)
No no
(hip hip)
(hip hip)
We'll never feel bad anymore
(hip hip)
on an island in the sun

Book of Days

This song never fails to bring me back the memories of good old days. Years ago, a sunny afternoon at the old chapel of Presbyterian High School, guests, teachers, students, seniors all waiting in ceremony hall. The song started playing, and at exactly 1min 02s (we did our rehearsals well), the main door opened and one by one, in came the newly prefects. Yes, it’s the Prefect Investiture Ceremony. It’s the day when probational prefects get to be recognized as the real prefects after the badge handling ritual. Well then, true enough, real shit came just right at the same time. But the thing is, till now, I have never walked in a room with so much pride in me like I was at that point of time. Maybe the music helped a little, or maybe it’s because I was much smaller in size then and with the coat and leather shoes, I couldn’t literately feel my feet moving, but I swear I thought I was flowing down the aisle.

Ever since then, whenever I feel despair or a failure, it helps if I were to listen to this song and the emptiness in me just became less empty. I got filled up with strength and power again. I can do better. I want to get the flowing feeling again. (We all need to have something to hold on to sometimes, don’t we?) The best part is, I will want to have my friends experiencing it with me. I wish they can know what I am really talking about just because it’s something good. But till then, I hope they can settle with this wonderful song.

Time - It’s a pretty dumb thing

Somebody has to be "lonely" for the word to exist.
If it were not you, then it would be me.
Emptiness gives room for silence,
For some reasons, it’s a cool experience.

The truth is, in life, you get lost and lose sometimes.
Your friends, your hopes and dreams,
They left you to spend alone with your time.
And before you know it, you are actually enjoying it.

Cos time is a pretty dumb thing,
It lets you have a peace of mind.
Cos time is a pretty dumb thing,
It lets you restore your wounded pride.
Cos time is a pretty dumb thing,
It lets you stick with it cos you have no choice.
Cos time is a pretty dumb thing,
It lets you do anything with it cos it has no choice.

It’s ok to be lonely rather than busy and if anyone asks,
“I have got time.”

The Thing About Jane Spring

La la la,

I finished a book,

I finished a book,

I finished a book,

in 3 days.

I finished a book,

I finished a book,

I finished a book!!!

la la la...

It's funny,

It's good,

It's sweet,

And I finished it...

La, la, la...

I'm happy...